Phone conversation with my parents on the recent hot political topic:

Dad: Hey, be careful ok?
Me: why?
Dad: Because God's gonna bring down judgement on San Francisco.
Me: why?
Dad: Because all of those gay people are getting married over there.

Hahahahaha

Mom: Are there a lot of gay people in your neighborhood?
Me: I don't know.
Mom: Why don't you know? Can't you tell?
Me: Tell by what?
Mom: The rainbow flags that the gay people put outside their houses. Don't all gay people put those up?

Ohhhhhh dear.....

Whoever invented Ambien is a genius and my hero! I've had insomnia for the past week and a half so I got a prescription for Ambien and actually slept for a full 7 hours (with only 2 minor interruptions)~ What a difference a good night's sleep makes =) I'm so excited to go home and sleep some more! But now I'm kinda scared that I'm gonna get addicted to this miracle drug...but don't worry...the doc only gave me a week's worth with no refills.

Counting down the hours until I can sleep again~ =)

I think I've finally gone completey retarded. Today as I was writing a petition, I type the word "and". But for some reason...it just didn't look right. The more I stared at the word, the more it looked misspelled. So then I typed in "other possible spellings" of the word: ahnd, aind, ande. Those looked all wrong too. Finally I checked with dictionary.com, and yup...I was right...A-N-D is the correct spelling for "and".

Hukd on foniks werkd 4 me!

There are certain days where my will power to resist sugar is just shot...today's one of them.

Sugar count thus far...and still counting...

1. chocolate chip cookies (breakfast)
2. half a bar of Lindt dark chocolate and half a bar of hazelnut milk chocolate (mid-morning snack)
3. snickers bar and more chocolate chip cookies (lunch)
4. handful of Nips coffee candy (dessert)

To my amazement, I'm calm as a patient in a coma

Evidence that I'm a tard:

Exhibit A: I broke my office's copy machine last week because I fed the machine paper that I wasn't supposed to so it got jammed and the paper burned inside the machine...ooops.

Exhibit B: I broke a treadmill at the gym because I was pressing too many buttons too fast at the same time...literally, there was smoke coming from the machine.

Exhibit C: As I was getting in my car, I hit my face on the car door. Now the area right above my right eye is pink and puffy...what a great way to start off the week.

At the rate I'm going, I wouldn't be surprised if I got run over by a bus...TWICE.