Lately, I've been experiencing a lot of panic attacks and they're growing more frequent. Anytime I'm vaguely reminded of law school I get really cold, my fingernails and lips turn blue, my heart starts beating really fast, my mouth gets dry, I can feel my throat tighten, and sometimes I break out in a cold sweat. I'm not so much worried about the academic hell hole I'll be digging myself into, but more of the social aspect of it all. For some reason, I can't get this gut wrenching image out of my head that I'll be surrounded by a myriad of losers who are even more socially retarded than I am. Ugh, I just imagine having classes with a hoard of Napoleon Dynamites and the Red Stapler Guy from Office Space. Yeah, it would make a funny movie...but to actually live through it in real life? Painful...just absolutely painful. Kevin Chiang told me that if I don't make friends in law school, my life will be more of a living hell that it already will be. Great....so my options are to avoid the socially retarded and be a loner loser in a living hell, or make friends with the socially retarded and become even more socially retarded but not be as loney but still be a loser. Tough choice, huh? And then there's the whole moving back to the OC business. Orange County isn't that bad of a place to live...it's actually nice, well at least Irvine is. It's clean, convenient and visually appealing...everything from the shopping centers to the houses and parks are color coordinated, streets are always swept, the grass is always green and cut to the perfect height. But something about everything looking so perfect gives me this claustrophobic feeling. Maybe it's being smothered by perfection and the pressure to be perfect. And, of course, I'll be really really really sad leaving my cool friends and being separated by approximately 423 miles of cow country. Being the retard that I am, I'm wasting my time sitting here stressing about all this when I should be enjoying every minute I have left here. I have less than 2 months now...time's flying by so fast!